Back to the Doctor

Well after a wonderful week with Grandma J, Aunt Kristy, Uncle Brad and Sarah they are all off one their way back to their homes. We had a wonderful week full of many fun events which as I think I have said before included feeding the chickens, breakfast at Elmers, Saturday Market, a Max ride, Snow Tubing on the Mt., as well as Chuck E Cheese. :) The adults are all tired and need a vacation now! We had pictures taken last night at Yuen Lui's with the family and just of the kids, etc... It was really nice and I think we will have some nice picts.

Jenny got Guitar Hero with two guitars from Brad, Kristy and Jared for her birthday. She was excited and so were her brothers. :) Another fun Wii game.

All weekend Jenny has continued to feel bad--so much so that she really was not able to enjoy most of the things that we did--and that she would normally enjoy. She seems lethargic, low energy and overall feels bad with the main complaint still being "I don't feel good. My tummy hurts." This is really becoming difficult for all of us that are around her to stomach ourselves. She is a happy, fun and well adjusted little girl and her behavior right now is anything but normal.

Thus far we have had test for food allergies, taken her off of dairy for a month, started her on asthma medication, tried Previcid for Acid Reflux (3 weeks--no change), tested for Celiac Disease, tested for ulcers, Chron's Disease, IBS, and a few other things I am sure. Paul and I have ruled out psychosocial concerns in our minds--and really in the mind of our GP as well. We have been to see and Endocrionlogist, a Pedicatric GI, an Allergist, and also 2 Pediatricians. The GI said that he believed that she was having "Functional Abdominal Pains"--maybe better known as growing pains. He stated that they were fairly common and that they were caused by pain nerve endings being stimulated and sending pain signals to the brain. If you Google "Functional Abdominal Pain" you get quite a bit--it is a common diagnosis. Dr. Marshall (GI) feels like since Jenny's symptoms have not changed and have not gotten any worse or progressed that there is little need to be alarmed. He stated that we needed to ride it out and told her that as well, in a nice way.

That is an easy thing to say a hard thing to live out. My daughter is not in an okay state. She is miserable I would say 75% or more of the time. She wakes up in the night crying and her moaning at night often wakes me up. She is eating very little, yet seems to still be slowly gaining weight. Loud noise bothers her, which seems to go along with just not feeling well.

So today I went back to see my pediatrician. I told him that I was not content at this point to sit and wait for months or years (as some kids have this pain for years) for this to go away. I told him I wanted to keep searching and ruling out everything that we could. Today they took more blood, (poor Jenny--she looked up at him with big tears today and said "I just want to feel better, it is not fair"--he replied, "no it isn't Jenny I am sorry"). They did a mono test (negative) they will be testing for thyroid imbalance, as well as a general overall screening. If everything comes back normal there the next step will be a CAT scan next week, just to see if there is anything out of the ordinary. I don't know what will come after all of that. I guess more waiting. I don't know how to proceed. I feel trapped. I want to push her on to live normal life, but how can you keep pushing a child that truly feels horrible. I deal with this so much with Brendan already and I have to say (you can ask me friends) I am not very good at pushing my kids on through pain. My grandma says "tell her all little girls have stomach pain, and just to ignore it and go on". Not so easy for me or her. "Everyone has it" doesn't make it stop hurting. :(

Sorry I am having a hard day with this one. I just want my kids to be okay. I don't want them to ever feel bad--I guess that is what all momma's want huh?

Thanks for listening. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day :)

Amazing Fun!

The kids have had an amazing time with their aunt, uncle and Grandma J thus far. Saturday we started off with feeding the chickens, breakfast at Elmer's and then off to the max--downtown to Saturday market. We spent several hours shopping at the market and then another couple at Powell's bookstore. When we got on the max to ride home--needless to say we were all very tired.

Yesterday I was sick all day--ran low grade fever, couldn't get out of bed, felt horrible, etc... So we stayed close to home, watched movies, played games, ate Easter Candy, and had Ham and Scalloped Potatoes for dinner.

Today was a full day with a trip up to Summit snow area. Kristy and the kids rented tubes and snow tubed for about 2 hours. They had a wonderful time!

Tonight I went to Puppy lessons and now I am having some quiet time hiding out in Paul's office. :) I wonder if they remember that I am home????

I am not sure what tomorrow will hold--but I am sure that it will be amazing.

Peace to you all!

Amazingly Wild Day!!!

Well are you ready to laugh? Here goes...

The last 24 hours have not really gone my way--in fact they have been pretty ridiculous. The good news is that we all survived, Paul got home, Brad and Sarah arrived, Grandma J was here to help, and Kristy is on her way. :)

Yesterday, I misplaced my one and only van key. Why only one van key you might ask? Well I guess you could say that my husband was having a stand off with the Dodge Corporation and didn't want to spend $250 to have a new one programmed for our van. (Our van has an antitheft device that will not allow it to start without the special programmed key). So after many, many hours of searching through the house, the van, the yard, and eventually even the dog, we gave up. This morning we had our van towed to the dealership and spent $250 on a new key and $55 on a tow. We did get a 2nd key out of the deal--so if we ever find the first key we will have three :)

We kept thinking about the possibility of Sammy eating the key and how he might not be able to pass a key of that size, without the stress of the acid in his stomach reacting with the computer chip in the key--we decided that we would take Sammy in for an x-ray. So as the van left on the tow truck off I went toward Vancouver where our vet is. Of course my luck would be that my vet couldn't see Sammy right away so I had to leave him there for a while--and I would need to come back to get him at a later time when his problem (if he had one) was resolved. After several hours of waiting the call came that Sammy did not have a key in his system. :) Although we did discover that he had eaten quite a bit of stuffing (from stuffed animals) but Dr. thinks that he will work that out on his own. But we still did not have a key--although the new one was in the making.

Today was Paul's birthday (yesterday was Jenny's) and I made him a special breakfast which involved homemade potatoes--I stupidly put the peels down the disposal--which in turn clogged up my drain. Paul was thrilled to know that he came home from his trip to a lost key a clogged up dog and now a clogged up drain. :( I took a plunger to the sink--it worked, cloroxed the entire kitchen as well as the plunger, and finished Paul's gourmet breakfast of a ham/bacon omelet and homemade hashbrowns.

In between the trips to Vancouver to take and then pick up Sammy I made Paul German Chocolate cupcakes and also made a Sugarfree Pumpkin Pecan Bundt cake that was out of this world. We had steak and baked potatoes for dinner with steamed asparagus--overall the day ended out pretty well with Sarah teaching me and Brendan how to play Poker :)

All in all the day turned out fine, well that is if you forget about the $450 we put out to cover the cost of the lost key and have Sammy xrayed. :(

Kristy will be here in about one hour and we are all very excited about that! Tomorrow will be a great big day. We are all starting off by feeding the chickens at 7:00a.m. and then off to have breakfast, off to Saturday Market and Powell Books, Downtown shopping, etc... and then maybe if we don't run out of steam a trip to Chucke Cheese (but don't tell the kids until we actually get there in case I change my mind :). Sarah is leaving early on Sunday morning and we will be sad to see her go. It has been fun getting to know her and seeing her with Brad :)

Well enough stress for this day--I am going to go take a hot bath and then it is into bed for me--Kristy's hug will have to come in the morning, it has been too long of a day for me. :( Peace to all of you--it will be for me very soon!

Better Tonight!

Puppy class went really well! Sammy is an amazing dog! We are so blessed to have him in our home. He is not perfect, still jumps, chews socks and the kids stuff animals, but overall he is wonderful.

I got a big part of my housework done today. Finished my laundry and got it all folded. Tomorrow I will work on the kids rooms and getting them ready, cleaning sheets and additional laundry found, etc.... Should be a good fruitful morning--when I get up. It is late now. I seem to always be a late bird. Don't know why and don't really like it, but I have such a hard time going to bed and getting to sleep. I enjoy the peaceful, quiet nighttime hours. Knowing everyone is safe and peaceful. They seem to be my most productive times, writing, cleaning, reading, etc...

Well, tomorrow no doubt will prove to be a big day. I am praying for some answers or at least ideas tomorrow and not a doctor that does not believe what she is feeling.

Going to bed. Peace tonight to you and yours.

Stress

Well here I am again. Paul left today for a few days to Denver. I am here with the kids and am sure that they will pull the usual I want to stay home with you momma--all week. The good news is that there is only one more day this week!

Tonight I have puppy lessons with Sammy--I am not overjoyed about this. I hate being on display and I really feel that way at puppy class :( Tomorrow is Jenny's GI doctor appointment and my dear friend Wendy is going to go with my to that appointment. I didn't think that was a good idea for me to go alone to this. I want other ears to hear what he says.

My in laws come in this week and we are all very excited about that! We always have fun when we are all together. Brad is bringing his girlfriend, Sarah and that should be wonderful! I have to get the kids rooms clean, clean the sheets, etc... But I need to do all of that anyways.

Easter is Sunday and my kids are so excited about their aunt, uncle, and Grandma J being here for that!

Well, that is pretty much an update of my life. I have to get busy now and clean, clean, clean. I let everything go wild last week with all of my business and I now need to pick up the pieces. So off to work I go.

Cotton Candy :)

Don't know if any of you have ever made cotton candy or not. Well let me encourage you to never offer to make it in your garage or at your house. It goes everywhere--like huge spiderwebs covering you and all around you. But at least you smell good :)

We made I think 800 bags of cotton candy tonight. Me and about 8 other women. We had 2 machines, 12 boxes of Cotton Candy sugar, 1000 bags and a lot of plastic gloves. When I drove up an hour late the garage door was open about one foot and the smoke coming out from under it scared me--it wasn't smoke :) Candy Smoke.

Anyways, they estimate that the cotton candy will be gone within the first hour tomorrow--I will believe that when I see it, it was an awful lot of cotton candy.

I have really enjoyed getting to know and have relationship with these moms. They are not from my church, maybe not from any church--I don't really know. But I do know that all of us love our children and are doing everything we can to make their school experience as good as it can be. Our PTC is amazing and I am so glad to be a part of that group and to be helping make a difference in our school. I intend to be at Kelly Creek for 6 more years!

I was shocked to know though of the 8 moms in attendance I was the oldest by 10 years. :( And feeling older every day at this point I might add! My body feels much more than 10 years older tonight. What I found amusing though was that they all thought I was the youngest :) Okay, not really--but none of them guessed that I was almost 40. :) I got carded last week at the grocery store--I told the guy he was just hoping for a tip. :( They all wanted to know when my wild 40 party was and if they were invited. Trust me--none of us know how to throw a party wild enough for those girls! Well okay maybe some of you--but none of me :) Tomorrow night after the carnival they all want to go party at the bowling ally "bar". I don't know what that is called or even if they will serve anything but beer--which if that is the case I am out of luck. I did drink a "beer margarita" tonight--I didn't say I liked it--but I did drink it. :(

I am going to go shower now :) I stripped in the laundry room and shocked my husband when I came in tonight! Sticky from head to toe--but he didn't know that :)

Jennifer Update

I just received a call from Dr. Willey. Jennifer's ulcer tests came back negative. We have thus far ruled out everything we have tested for. Which includes Chron's, Celiac, Ulcer, IBS, as well as several other things. We will see the GI specialist on Tuesday afternoon and see what further tests that he wants to perform.

The flowers are from my garden. I have enjoyed daily getting to see my flowers come up, and although they are not all up, those that are I find amazingly beautiful and amazingly peaceful as well as healing. It is amazing how God's beautiful and perfect creation can give me such a sense of peace and calm. Peace to you tonight. I am on my way to make Cotton Candy for our school carnival tomorrow night! :)

My Fear

What is fear? Sometimes it is something that overcomes me. Makes me feel like I can’t go on. Sometimes it is simple and easily brushed away. Sometimes it won’t leave for hours and keeps me awake all night.

Will Paul come home from his trip? Will I ever see him again? Will Brendan wake up in the morning? Will he get the stomach flu and end up back in the hospital? Will Jenny be diagnosed with something horrible as well? The list of fears in my life seem to never end.

God has promised to release me from my fears. Not to stop bad things from happening, but to let me have faith that he will be there walking beside me in the good and the bad, holding me up and holding my hand. I constantly feel God’s hands all around me through the hands and hearts of those that love me. Through the amazing community that I am a part of.

Friends and loved ones all around me right now are finding that they have reasons to feel fear. I am praying for each of you daily. I am praying that you will find peace in your hearts and your souls. That God will truly remove your fear, please remember that it does not come from Him. The passages below continually help me in my constant times of fear. I am far from being safe from it—but I do believe that God removes it and walks beside me if I let Him.

Psalms 3:5-7
5 I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.
6 I will not fear the tens of thousands
drawn up against me on every side.
7 Arise, O LORD!
Deliver me, O my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.

Psalms 27:3
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

Psalms 46:1-3
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

Isaiah 41:9-11
9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
11 "All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish.

Isaiah 41:13
13 For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

I John 4:17-19
17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us.

Hope is in a Cure

Don't forget to turn back your clocks!!!

Bummer! I think this might be one of my least favorite days all year. I have found it interesting the last week, that I have been waking up so early in the morning. Maybe my body knows it is coming.

Paul is home from New Hampshire!!!! Obama is ahead!!!! I planted some new clematis and a new rose today in my garden!!!! And the weekend is only half over!!!!

I am good tonight. The kids are in bed and I am about to go watch my favorite movie with Paul! Can any of you guess what my favorite movie is????? and tell me yours!!!!

:)

Crazy Hat Day!

As you can tell Bren was thrilled to have his picture taken :) Jenny was trying to act crazy. Bren couldn't find a crazy hat, so he attached a bunch of key chains to his daddy's hat (daddy is gone--don't tell--it is Paul's favorite hat). It is not a good picture of him at all :) He agreed to get a haircut--yeah!!! So we are going to go soon, today if I can fit it in. Ryan's doctor visit was good--asthma issues. No infection yet. Jenny goes at 1:00 to see Dr. Selva. Results came back negative for Crohn's, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Celiac (fabulous on all accounts!!!!). We are waiting for ulcer results and we will see what else Dr. Selva says today. I will write more tonight!

Better today.

Sorry for the glum post yesterday. I felt overwhelmed with life, and although I am not sure things are much better today--I feel more in control.

I am not sure why Paul's leaving this week is so hard for me--usually, well at least lately, I have been fine with him being gone every now and then. I think it must just be that on top of Jenny being sick.

Ryan is sick tonight with a fever and a cough. So that adds a bit of complication to my busy day tomorrow.

Luckily, no transcription this week and TOK bookkeeping is fine this week as well. So I just need to focus on my little ones and get through the week.

Jenny has had a pretty good day, in fact until tonight I didn't here her fuss, except right after meals. She is really excited about tomorrow, because it is crazy hat day at school. I am guessing for Dr. Seuss' birthday. So she is going to wear one my great grandma's hats :) I will post a picture her of her tomorrow. She is very excited to be able to say this hat was my "Great, Great Grandma's hat."

Well enough for tonight. I will write much tomorrow I am sure after my busy day. I have 3 friends helping with kids tomorrow to get through the day. Jenny sees the Endocrinologist at 1:00. Basketball is at 6:00 and Puppy lessons are at 7:45. Other than those appointments I just have to get kids to and from school and I guess get Ryan to the doctor as well. :( It will be a busy but good day I am sure of it!

Get some sleep--I know that I am going to!

Stress

Well here I am again. Yesterday we did more blood work and a stool sample with Jenny. This morning she threw up once, and was doubled over until that happened. Paul is convinced that we are dealing with an ulcer--which I guess is caused by bacteria and is easily treated.

Today my stress level is out the roof. We canceled BBQ last night cause I felt like there was no way to do it. I hate being this stressed. I told Paul that I was going to take a "shopping sebbatical". I feel like my stress load is too high and I don't trust myself at this moment to make good decisions.

With Brendan and now Jennifer both being sick and Paul leaving on Monday for a week, I am on the edge today. :(

But the good news is that it is not raining and I think I am going to go out and get my roses moved and work a little in my garden. That always gives me peace.

I enjoyed very much our new neighbors coming for dinner on Thursday night! It is fun to get to know new people and feel like we can make good connections with our neighbors, something I am not always sure that we can do. I also really enjoyed Erin coming over to visit and watch "Goonies" with us. I miss her so much and it was fun to get to share Sammy with her. He loved her of course! Just as Kodi does--well we all do.

Well I am going to keep busy and not sit and stew today. Jenny at the moment is playing dress up and pushing her babies around in her stroller--so she must be feeling better for the moment.

I know there is an answer around the corner and I am trying to find peace today. :)